You know that you're from Long Island when...
To those of us that live or lived on Long Island, and those of you that wish you did. You know you love Long Island when:
1. You don't live IN Long Island. You live ON Long Island.
2. You know that 110 separates Nassau and Suffolk.
3. You get proofed, not carded.
4. You can tell the guys or girls on the other side of the bar are from Queens.
5. You don't brush the sand off your feet before you get in the car.
6. You don't know what the hell they're talking about when someone says "Let's go to the shore"
7. You know when someone says "The Forks", they don't mean silverware.
8. You've used a clam shell for an ash tray.
9. When you close your eyes you can still smell the boardwalk.
10. Wandering around Fire Island trashed is an acceptable plan for any night.
11 Doing 90 over the Robert Moses Bridge or on Ocean Parkway is perfectly fine.
12. You know which beaches allow surfing.
13. You know what low tide smells like.
14. You've missed your Ferry.
15. You know who Guy Lombardo was.
16. You had to worry about "Son of Sam".
17. You tried to "Save the Oak Beach Inn".
18. You know which way the winds blowing by looking at the seagulls.
19. You know the difference between a "Parkway" and an "Expressway".
20. You've driven the stretch of Ocean Parkway in the winter without passing another car.
21. You can name the bars that Twisted Sister played in.
22. You know where the GOOD RATS are playing.
23. There is another meaning to "SOB".
24. You know where "The Pencil" is.
25. You know where "The Big Duck" is.
26. You know where the Vietnam Memorial is.
27. You remember when the Beach at Smiths Point was as wide as the beach at Jones.
28. You've partied at the Kismet Inn, and you've been to the "Out".
29. You've refused to use the bathroom on the LIRR because it was the right thing to do.
30. You shopped at A&P or Bohack's.
31. You still scream in the tunnel going from the parking lot to Central Mall at Jones Beach.
32. You miss Nunley's.
33. WLIR and WBAB were your only source of information.
34. French Fries from the concession stand at the beach was considered health food.
35. You have more Pro sports to root for than anywhere else in the country (Jets, Giants, Mets, Yankees, Knicks, Nets, Rangers, Islanders, & Ducks).
36. You worry when someone says "full moon" and "Nor' Easter" in the same sentence.
37. Your Parents told you they moved to East Northport because it was "Out in the Country".
38. You know your not suppose to climb on the jetty but you still do because you're from LI.
39. You're from one of 4 places: North Shore - Nassau , South Shore - Nassau , North Shore - Suffolk, South Shore - Suffolk.
40. You know that the Long Island Railroad doesn't run North and South.
41. You've cursed out the Jack n' the Box drive thru clown at 3:00 am on a Tuesday.
42. You've looked for Beach Glass.
43. You remember the SST flying into JFK.
44. You remember the "Pickle Works" in Farmingdale.
45. You know that Montauk Hwy and Merrick Rd. are the same road.
46. The Hampton Bays Diner saved you from wetting your pants on many occasions.
47. You can see from one 7-11 to the next one.
48. You don't use a menu in a Deli.
49. Every time you see an Alec Baldwin Movie, You tell yourself, "He's from Long Island".
50. You know what a "Buttered Roll" is.
51. Coffee - Regular doesn't mean "caffeinated".
52. It's called a "Hero" ... end of story.
53. You remember the "Bar Car" on the LIRR.
54. You know someone who owns a Good Rats album.
55. You know what to do with a Lacrosse stick.
56. You can't take a Bus from the Port Authority in New York to Long Island, but you can go anywhere else in the Country.
57. You can't say "Hot Dog Beach" without giggling from the memories.
58. You remember going into ... but not coming out of the Uniondale Mini Cinema.
59. Hawaiian Tropic was your first form of "sunscreen".
60. It took you several Summers, but you actually visited the OBI South, East & North.
61. My Father's Place" was not your parent's house.
62. You saw the Stray Cats before they were famous
63. "Good Times" was a newspaper.
64. You own a T-Shirt that says, "I survived the Boardy Barn", but you really didn't.
65. You leave your money on the bar.
66. You know the difference between the "Miracle Mile" (Manhassett) and the "Nautical Mile" (Freeport)
67. You could name the bartenders and bouncers at The Salty Dog, Hammerheads, Speaks, Solomon Grundy's, Mad Hatter, Chaucer's Ale House, Hutley's, Right Track Inn, Max's of Wantagh, Ed's Bay Pub, Maracash, Malibu, 1890's Club, Ubies OTJ, etc.
68. As much as you try not to, you still curse ... a lot.
69. You still get sick to your stomach not seeing the Trade Towers off in the distance.
70. Flip-flops are normal, even in January.
71. You drive down Dune Road to shake your head at the strange houses, and try to figure out how people could live in them.
72. You know that "Amity" was a fictional place in "Jaws", and when they filmed the Movie, They filmed it in Connecticut.
73. You know exactly what they mean when they say "Don't change at Jamaica."
74. You know that The Drift Inn and Neptune's are in the same building, but you also know that they are NOTHING alike.
75. You keep saying that, "One of these times, when we're driving out to Montauk, we're going to stop and eat at the Lobster Inn", but you're always in a hurry and you never do.
76. The exact pronunciation is:
a. Islip: "Eye-Slip" not "Is-Slip"
b. Wantagh: "Wan-Taw" not "Wan-Tough"
c. Commack: "Com-Mack" and "Co-Mack" are both OK
d. Mattituck: "Matt-ti-Tuck" (There is no wrong way)
e. Shinnecock: "Shin-eh-cock"
f. Quogue: "Kwog" or "Kwoge"
g. Ronkonkoma: "Ron-Konk-oma" not "Ron, Con, Coma"
h. Hauppauge: "Hop-Pog"
i. Mineola: "Minnie-Ola"
j. Islandia: "Eye-Landia" not "Is-Landia"
k. Massapequa: "Mass-a-Pee-kwa"
l. Patchogue: "Patch-og" not "Patch-a-goo"
m. And the big one: It's not pronounced "Long-Guyland"!
77. You and your friends are going to the beach, but the word beach never comes up in the conversation. Instead, it sounds something like this..."Well, we could go to Jones, but Moses is closer, the North Shore's too rocky...whatever, lets go to the Hamptons."
78. You've waited on line at Briamere's for a Pie.
79. You've gotten a face full of melted butter eating Roasted Corn.
80. You've made the mistake of trying to drive on Sound Avenue on a weekend in October
81. You know that it's possible to take Jericho all the way to Queens...but you would never, EVER do it.
82. Lake Ronkonkoma was formed from Glacier water.
83. Parallel parking in your Drivers Ed class was pointless...you only had to do it next to one car.
84. You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.
85. When you're away from Long Island , you love it and when you're home, you don't.
86. You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
87. You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
88. You don't go to Manhattan , you go to "The City."
89. You never realized you had an accent until you left.
90. Everything north of the Bronx is "upstate."
91. At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
92. You've eaten Hot Dogs from a Van on the side of the road.
93. Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.
94. You know there's only one "H" in Southampton.
95. You know where the Commack Motor Inn is. (Just leave it at that)
96. Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
97. You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
98. You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
99. You can't understand why a diner would ever close.
100. You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you got smashed at the Boardy Barn.
101. You know White Castle is terrible for you and it gives you a stomach ache, but you periodically "Get the Crave."
102. You think that somehow, the Jets and Giants still play in New York.
103. You've missed that "Drunk Train," the 2:42 out of Penn, and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
104. You've never taken an MTA bus.
105. Grucci Fireworks. ...The best.
106. The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.
107. You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
108. You know which parts of the Godfather were filmed on Long Island.
109. You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
110. Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore."
111. Either you have, or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these places: Babylon, Port Washington, Hicksville or Ronkonkoma.
112. You know that there is a big difference between any of the other Hamptons, and Hampton Bays.
113. You've been stuck in a traffic jam for more than 2 hours (without moving).
114. Your parents took you to All American, Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).
115. You remember Grumman.
116. You know the color of the water at Jones Beach is not BLUE!
117. You know which beach at Moses is the Family Beach, and which one is the Cool Beach.
118. You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's and Arby's closed for good.
119. You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Ronkonkoma.
120. When you went Strawberry Picking, You ate more Strawberry's in the field than you brought back to pay for in your basket.
121. The Movie Theaters with the biggest screens were in Bay Shore & Patchogue.
122. You know you can't eat Pizza on the sidewalk in Ocean Beach.
123. Girls "Axe" questions rather than "Ask" Questions
124. You think the people from Brooklyn are "da wunz dat tawk wit a accent."
125. You went sledding in the sumps.
126. You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco nightmare.
127. You think going to Queens is a hike.
128. You always take the long way to Sag Harbor.
129. The first time you heard the term "Long Island Iced Tea" you were somewhere else and you laughed.
130. The first time you ate Long Island Duckling, you weren't on Long Island.
131. When you live somewhere else, you're astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.
132. It's rare to get really bad bagels or pizza on Long Island, almost as rare as it is to get good bagels and pizza anywhere else.
133. You've been to Adventureland in Farmingdale.
134. You've NEVER been to the Statue of Liberty.
135. Gene Wilder wrote "Blazing Saddles" in Easthampton.
136. You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.
137. You've partied in the woods at least once in your life.
138. You know what Pilgrim State and Sweet Hallow Road are ...and you are NEVER going again.
139. You are never more then 20 minutes away from the water.
140. You have been to at least one concert at Jones Beach.
141. Steven Spielberg lives here.
142. When you hear "the end", you think Montauk. Orient Point never crosses your mind.
143. When you say that you are going to "the outlets", Tanger is implied.
144. You've seen an Albino Deer near the Westhampton Airport.
145. The Town of Orient hasn't changed in over 40 years.
146. You have a friend who swears they saw Billy Joel somewhere in Oyster Bay.
147. When people ask "where are you from?" You answer Long Island and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
148. You Run to get a seat on the Train leaving Penn, and then you get up and stand by the Door 3 stops prior to yours.
149. You've seen the commercials, and you've craved their shakes, but you know pretty well there are no DQ's or Sonics on Long Island.
150. Last Call is at 3:50 am
