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For
all of you who wonder why folks from other countries have a bit of
trouble with the English language. This is a clever piece put together
by an English teacher; who else??
Homographs are words of like spelling but with
more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently
is a heteronym. You think English is easy? I think a retired English
teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT !
This took a lot of work to put together!
1) The bandage was *wound* around the
*wound*.
2) The farm was used to *produce
produce*.
3) The dump was so full that it had to
*refuse* more *refuse*.
4) We must *polish* the *Polish*
furniture.
5) He could *lead* if he would get the
*lead* out.
6) The soldier decided to *desert* his
dessert in the *desert*.
7) Since there is no time like the
*present*, he thought it was time to *present* the *present*.
8) A *bass* was painted on the head of
the *bass* drum.
9) When shot at, the *dove dove * into
the bushes.
10) I did not *object* to the *object*.
11) The insurance was *invalid* for the
*invalid*.
12) There was a *row* among the oarsmen
about how to *row*.
13) They were too *close* to the door to
*close* it
14) The buck *does* funny things when the
*does* are present.
15) A seamstress and a *sewer* fell down
into a *sewer* line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer
taught his *sow* to *sow*.
17) The *wind* was too strong to *wind*
the sail.
18) Upon seeing the *tear* in the
painting I shed a *tear*.
19) I had to *subject* the *subject* to a
series of tests.
20) How can I *intimate* this to my most
*intimate* friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy
language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in a pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
England
or French fries in
France
. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we
find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a
guinea pig is neither from
Guinea
nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but
fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the
plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One
goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it
seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a
bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you
call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a
play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have
noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a
fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not
computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they
are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
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