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Internet Warning

If you get an email titled "Nude photo of Nancy Pelosi,"

don't open it... It contains a nude photo of Nancy Pelosi.

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The following was submitted by Joan Rudolph Siegl Class of 1961

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep...

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas .

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He

walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there

was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant

Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass

lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my

impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment... Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for my call."

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Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 23 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary

The following was submitted by Connie Skow class of 1962

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.  She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.  She was shocked to see
her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.  "What are you
doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained.  "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Need's ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
He never  heard the  gunshot.

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The Following submitted by Bunny Reid Class of 1961

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him goodnight. Bob sat up and watched me all night.

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The following was submitted by Kathy Koziuk Hannaman

Photo Of The New Generation!

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The Bensonhurst Spelling Bee

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b7e6f00184/the-bensonhurst-spelling-bee-with-kelly-ripa

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Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat watching the front door of the brothel across the road.  The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.

"Would you look at dat!" says the first Irishman.  "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a rabbi appears at the door, knocks, and goes inside.  "Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"

They continue drinking their beer, roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi.  When they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door, "Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman. "One of the girls must have died!"