The
Business Deal
A Chinese guy goes to a Jew to
buy black bras, size 38.
The Jew, known for his skills
as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding
it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to
charge $50.00 for them.
The Chinese guy buys 25.
He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty.
The Jew tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges
him $60.00 each.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the Jews remaining
stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each.
The Jew is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras
and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do
with all these black bras?"
The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as
skull caps (Yamikas) to you Jews for $200.00 each.!!
"Business is
Business"
Dear Family and Friends,
Most of you know I went in for a
surgical procedure for a Butt Lift at the
WalMart
Medical
Center
. I didn't have the most pleasant experience. I should've left well
enough alone. . I wanted
to show you how it turned out. I hope this keeps YOU from having this
done.
.Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . .
Don't get a Butt Lift at the
WalMart
Medical
Center
. You will most certainly regret it!!!
Penguins
I never knew
this...
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in
Antarctica
- where do they go?
Wonder no more! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird that
lives an extremely orderly and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to family and will mate for life, as well
as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring
throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the
family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice,
using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough
for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The
male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
Then they kick him in the ice hole.
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
It's so easy to fool OLD people!!!
Siamese
twins walk into a bar in
Canada
and park themselves on a barstool.
One of
them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the
hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft
please."
The
bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite
conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday
yet, lads?"
"Off
to
England
next month," says John. "We go to
England
every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?"
Jim agrees.
"Ah,
England
!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the
history, the beer, the culture..."
"Nah,
we don't like that British crap," says John.
"Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't
stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."
"So
why keep going to
England
?" asks the bartender.
"It's
the only chance Jim gets to drive."
At
an Irish wedding reception someone yelled ...
"Would all the married men, please stand
next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death!!
A
family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their
looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold.
If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed
to be turned up. They were opposite in every way. One was an eternal
optimist, the other a doom-and-gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on Christmas, their father loaded the
pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's
room he loaded with horse manure.
That night, the father passed by the pessimist's room and found his
son sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
"Why are you crying?" the father asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous. I'll have to read all these
instructions before I can do anything with this stuff. I'll constantly
need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken," answered
the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found his son dancing for
joy in the pile of manure.
"What are you so happy about?" the father asked.
The optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here
somewhere!"
New Book on Understanding Women
Shown here is Volume 1 of 68
They dressed the truck up with the guy dummy spread
eagle on the roof of the truck.
The driver and passengers put on Moose Heads.
Down the Maine Toll interstate they went causing about 16 accidents.
They went to jail.
(some cops have no sense of humor)
