A professor at the  Penn State University  was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, all the years I've
been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a
ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The Middle Eastern Muslim student replied with a nod and a grin, and
began to make his way up to the podium.  When he reached the front of
the room, the professor asks, "So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have
sex with a ghost?"
Ahmed replied, "Man, from way back there I thought you said a GOAT!"


Yellow Light
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up...
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car.''






At Penn State University , four sophomores were taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday. They didn't make it back to Penn State until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final was over, they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They would say that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The next day, the professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy....

Then they turned the page. On the second page was written....
For 95 points: Which tire? _________






Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips!


This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic Churches than casinos.

Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches devised a method to collect the offerings.

The churches send all their chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the separated chips are taken to the casinos of origin to be cashed.

This is done by CHIP MONKS!

You didn't even see it coming, Did You???


This guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.
There are two sheriff's deputies there. He asks if there is a problem...

One of the deputies asks if he is married and, if so, can he see a picture of his wife.
The guy says sure and shows him a picture of his wife.
The sheriff says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
The husband says, "I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook."