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"Buffalo
Bob" |
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HICKSVILLE NEWSLETTER
HUMOR CORNER
A kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket.
She was issued a citation and had to appear in court.
She decided to take her "long-suffering" husband
for marital support.
The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place.
The judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to
impose a jail term.
"This time you stole a can of tomatoes."
"Yes," she said.
"And there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?"
The woman agreed.
"Then I sentence you to six nights in jail." The husband jumped to his feet, addressing the judge.
He said, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"
"Well," said his honor, "this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case."
"You may approach the bench," the judge said.
The husband wasted no time getting to the bench.
He leaned forward and said in a low voice, "She
also stole a can of peas."
RETIREMENT STORY - HUMOR For those of
you contemplating retirement, I would like to share my retirement
experiences with you, which I hope will be helpful. -
Anonymous HICKSVILLE TIDBITSThird Track ProjectWe reported earlier about a third track project for the LIRR that would run between the Hicksville station and Floral Park. The controversy continued to swirl and the culmination of the whirlwind was the abandonment of the project. The reason cited for the cancellation was lack of funds. However, a 3.1 billion dollar project to send LIRR trains into Grand Central Station in Manhattan, otherwise known as the East Side Access project, is in full swing. This is slated to be completed by 2015 when train service is scheduled for the new LIRR stop at Grand Central Terminal. Additional items on the agenda for the billion-dollar project are supplemental issues regarding track repair, track reconfiguration and signal improvements in Jamaica so that service demands can be met for the East Side Access project. High Heel Benefit RaceCongratulations to Amy Palmiero-Winters of Hicksville, a below the knee amputee and world record holder, for competing against able-bodied women in the Live with Regis & Kelly High Heel-A-Thon. The High Heel A Thon is a 150-yard dash competition for females only. The event is held in Central Park and benefits the March of Dimes and is sponsored by “Dr. Scholl’s For Her.” Palmiero-Winters is the current record holder for female amputees in the 5 kilometer, 10 kilometer, ˝ marathon, marathon and ultra-marathon. In addition, she is the world champion in the Olympic distance triathlon and the world record holder in the Ironman Triathlon. Palmiero-Winters’s recent awards include the Peoples Choice Runners World Heroes of Running Award, Erie Times Female Athlete of the Year, and the National Italian American Sports Hall of Fame Sportswoman of the Year, Pittsburgh Chapter.
Hicksville LibrarySenior citizens who do not drive or just have trouble getting around. Others confined to home because of handicap or illness. You may be eligible for Homebound Services. Call the library if you are interested in this service. Reading material can be brought to your door. Also, Notary Public Service is available at the Hicksville Library, 169 Jerusalem Avenue, Hicksville, NY 11801. Call 516-931-1417 for further information. Hicksville Water DistrictThomas Cunningham and Warren Uss were looking to fill the Water Commissioner seat on the water district board. The vacancy was created when Richard Humann announced his retirement. Humann held that position for 24 years. Commissioner terms are three years. Elections were held on September 2, 2008 and Warren Uss received a majority of votes…355 to 340 cast for Cunningham. Uss is third generation Hicksville resident. He was a registered representative of the New York Stock Exchange specializing in tax free municipal bonds and fixed income securities. He also operated his own home improvement business for 15 years and is currently employed as a fire-alarm dispatcher for the Hicksville Fire District. Uss is an active member of the Hicksville Fire Department for over 35 years. Uss has been very active in the Hicksville community for years. Uss was sworn in as commissioner on September 9, 2008 at a board meeting.
West Nile Virus On The MoveThere hadn’t been much activity with respect to the West Nile Virus in Nassau County this year. August, however, changed the scene to one of disaster as two people were diagnosed with West Nile and both have passed away. One happened to be a friend of mine, 75 year old George Cody, who owned and operated a plumbing supply business. He lay in a coma for almost two weeks before succumbing to the virus. The other was an 80 year old female from New Hyde Park.
SPEED MONITORING DEVICES In an effort to curtail speeding around Hicksville schools, an effort is being made to install speed monitoring devices. The device has been conveniently reduced in size and can be attached to a pole nearby to the street. As a vehicle enters the area in vicinity of the device, and electronic signal is displayed on the device that shows the speed that vehicle is maintaining at that particular time. The first such device has been successfully installed at the Hicksville Middle School (HMS) on Jerusalem Avenue. Many thanks to Assemblyman Rob Walker and Pam Lamonda-Jaffie, immediate past president of the Hicksville Middle School Parent Teacher Student Association (PTSA) for their effort in bringing this dream to fruition. TRULY USELESS TRIVIAIf you put all the streets in New York City in a straight line, they would stretch to Japan. On Valentine’s Day, there is no charge to get married in the Empire State Building’s chapel. The Hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards. The city of Los Angeles has three times more automobiles than people. The first human made object to break the sound barrier was a whip. The smallest county in America is New York County, better known as Manhattan. Frogs never drink. Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside. The starfish is the only animal that can turn its stomach inside out. Theodore Roosevelt was the only president who was blind in one eye.
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